This article, part 1 of 2, presents some of the most important tips teenagers (and parents of teenagers) should adhere to when dating.

Learning to drive is an incredibly exciting time in a teenager’s life. It represents a glow-in-the-dark mile marker in a teen’s journey to perceived independence and all the many freedoms that come with that perception. “Got the keys to a car, no parents in sight…freedom, baby!!!” Teenage Relationship Dating is another bridge to freedom they are dying to cross over; dating can be a measure of who they are and their capacity for love. At this age, teenagers are discovering themselves and their value in relationships through their new freedoms and through what they feel is falling in love. “Josh thinks I’m cute! I AM now validated.” But the road of teenage relationship dating can be as perilous as allowing a 4th grader to climb in behind the wheel of your car! As with driving, there are important lessons that need to be learned before you can simply hand over the keys. In fact, there are important lessons that parents also might want to learn before they just allow their teenage son or daughter to speed off down the Relationship Road. This essential teen dating advice could steer your child away from teenage relationship dating disaster; it could even save their lives!

Teen Dating Advice # 1: Date People You Already Know and Trust

He may have seemed like an absolute gentleman when he approached you at Taco Bell® asking for your number. And besides, he was hot, right? But beneath that flashy paint job may be deception. When it comes to healthy teenage relationship dating, you should always take the time to get to know your date in an environment that is safe. “I don’t care where this car has been, what Consumer Reports has to say or if it has been in any accidents…I want it anyway!” If you don’t already know him or her from school or through a close friend, then use group activities or double teenage relationship dating as a way of getting to know them. Do your research in advance. Have a conversation with them over the phone before you agree to a get-together with friends and always before your first date. Establishing what your interests are before you meet, will give you something to talk about. The first several dates should be considered a “test drive” and you have lots of fact finding to do before you sign on the dotted line.

Teen Dating Advice # 2: Teenage Relationship Dating Checklist

Do you wait to have an accident in a car before putting on your seatbelt? Then why do the same with a teenage relationship dating situation? The fact of the matter is that you can never be too safe; especially with someone you don’t know that well. When teenage relationship dating, follow these tips to minimize the risk:

1. Before you invest in a car, it makes sense to create a list of “must-haves.” Be sure to make your list of “deal breakers” and your wish list before you look into those dreamy eyes and compromise all the way to a heartbreak.

2. Check online. Google the name of your potential date and see what comes up,

3. Use you own version of “Consumer Reports” by taking the time to research this person on available social media sites like Facebook®. Read older posts, look at photos. See any red flags?

4. If you had 3 friends that already owned the car you were thinking of buying, wouldn’t you ask their opinion? Apply that to dating.

5. Adult perspective. I know you want to be independent and make your own decisions however, would you rather use the wisdom of someone who has traveled down that road or would you prefer to drive blind? Get advice from healthy adults. 6. Look into the manufacturer. Parents and living situation can be a real eye-opener. In many cases, the lug nut doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Teen Dating Advice # 3: Be Very Careful About Meeting People Online

Buying a car online is risky business. Many times, the “seller” will take the money, run; never to be seen or heard from again. Teenage relationship dating born out of the virtual ether is an especially treacherous road to go down. The version of yourself you present to someone online can be quite different than the ‘real’ you. And the same can apply to others with less-than-honest intentions. Adults get ripped off every day buying cars online. The same is true for dating. If you decide to wander down either road, be prepared to gamble it all away. The risk in this type of teenage relationship dating far outweighs the benefits.  

Stay Tuned for More Teenage Relationship Dating Advice…

In my next article post on Teenage Relationship Dating, I shall explore some other important tips for teens and parents to follow. Armed with this essential teen dating advice, you can learn to date defensively, navigate safely and steer clear of unhealthy relationships.

This article, part 2 of 2, presents some of the most important tips teenagers (and parents of teenagers) should adhere to when dating.  

This article highlights the importance of teenagers choosing their partners for their intellect and compatibility, and not just physical appearance.

 

Teen Dating Advice: Picture This…

Imagine your mom or dad took you to a car dealership and gave you an unlimited budget to spend on the car of your dreams (so yes, you’re probably Paris Hilton in this analogy). Naturally, the first thing anyone would do is gravitate towards the high performance, flashy sports models, not the junker. “Oh, Dad! I can’t keep my eyes off that rusty Pinto Wagon!” Sitting low and sleek on the suspension like a panther just waiting to pounce; it’s the most obvious choice for anyone! That, or a massive Hummer; something with a bark as bad as its bite. But there is a catch: once you have chosen a car, it would entirely be your responsibility. So while it is extremely tempting to opt for a beautiful, sexy and expensive high performance car – one that revs up your reputation of wealth and status – you have to consider things such as the cost of insurance, keeping it topped up with gas and the cost of repairs. Then there’s the issue of safety; would you ever truly be comfortable leaving your beautiful baby in anything but valet parking? Would you become obsessed and possessive over your car? “I’m sorry sweetie, I just don’t want to lose sight of you.”  

Teen Dating Relationships: Looking Beneath the Surface  

The point here is that looks are NOT everything. There are considerations that extend far deeper than the surface when it comes to choosing, not just a car, but everything in life really. What you place the emphasis on says a great deal about who you are as a person and what you prioritize (as well as the size of your bank account). But in terms of teen dating relationships, prioritizing personality and compatibility over appearance will enable you to enjoy a dating experience that is fun, exciting and rewarding.   

Teen Dating Relationships and Teen Dating Advice: Trouble Behind the Scenes  

So, let’s say that you do opt for the flashy sports model in your teen dating relationships. You know little about the girl or guy over and above the fact that she or he is drop dead gorgeous. Great! Your teen dating relationships are now the envy of the entire school. “No way, Dude! You got a Lamborghini for your birthday? I am so stinkin’ jealous!” Having this sexy little model at your side makes you look powerful and it certainly does wonders for your status and popularity. But behind the scenes of this model of seemingly flawless teen dating relationships, trouble often brews. Your hotrod may be something to look at, but you don’t have much in common with them at all; you struggle to find things to talk about and oh BOY, are they high maintenance! Trust this teen dating advice: teen dating relationships based solely upon the physical and what gives us status rarely last more than a few weeks to a few months.

 

Teen Dating Relationships and Teen Dating Advice: Choosing Wisely  

Once the glamour of driving around in a stunning sports model car dulls, you will begin to find that those monthly insurance payments are beginning to take a serious toll on your resources; that your car guzzles an obscene amount of gas and that you live in mortal terror of it getting scratched. The stress, the expenses, the maintenance… is it all worth it really? When it comes to teen dating relationships, basing your decision solely on the physical will land you in situations of overwhelming disappointment, where you find your emotional resources depleted. Just because someone is good to look at doesn’t mean that they are a nice person… and even if they are nice, they may not be compatible with you. “Beth, yeah, that Beamer is hot but way out of your league.”  

Trust this teen dating advices. Spend lots of time with someone before committing to teen dating relationships and make sure the attraction is as intellectual as it is physical, if not more so. You will find yourself enjoying healthier and happier teen dating relationships if you do!

This article addresses teen’s development and teen dating relationships.

Teen Dating Advice: My Teen is a Mess!

Teenage dating advice and guiding teens can feel like perpetual construction on the freeways. Do you feel like the orange barrels dented and thumped from months of standing guard as the watchmen for the never-ending asphalt trucks and busy workers that are trying to “complete” the project? Is there ever any rest? Nope.

Freeways are high maintenance – so is parenting some teens. But the best teen dating advice is to remember that they are still “under construction” for a reason…and a season. Sometimes, it can go on for months, even years at a time! Teens that look all grown up yet still require some final touches – “I’m really tired. I don’t think I feel like going out. I just need to hang out at home.” Again? Still?

I can’t rush the freeway completion any more than I can rush the full development of a teenager’s brain. It can be a real challenge as a parent to monitor the ongoing progress of their precious teen. It is even more challenging to experience your own teen dating someone who is…let’s say, “behind schedule.” Every few feet there is another blatant warning that you will encounter a slowdown or bottleneck in the flow of their relationship. “I just can’t stand my sister. She makes me crazy! That’s why I’m in a bad mood!” Really, for a month now? What’s up with that? You find your teen exhausted from a constant state of “alert” and from white-knuckling for hours on end. In an honest moment, you hope they realize it’s just not the way the trip was supposed to be. And yet they drive on not knowing where or when it will end.

Teen Dating Advice: Road Closed – Will Reopen in the Spring of Who Knows When?

Whether you’re teen has high maintenance friends or seems to attract high maintenance dates, either way, there is a point at which you might want to encourage them to look at why they keep choosing to go down that road. There must be some attraction. Is it the drama of driving over potholes at 75 miles and hour to see how the long they can take it before they fall apart? Or maybe your teen just isn’t paying attention to the signs that repeatedly point to the high level of repair needed.

Here’s the good news and some teen dating help – There is always another way. Always Teens do not have to go down that road. Sure, that was the plan but they don’t have to wait until they have a close encounter with rebar and wire mesh protruding from broken concrete before taking the next exit. Teens can pick another route. Really, give them some teenage dating advice and teach them how to put on their turn signal and give it a try – they might actually discover that they like the smoother, quieter option.

Thoughts on this teen dating advice?

Mama j

In the book Dater’s Ed, Lisa Jander, the Teen-Whisperer, helps parents teach their teenagers to learn how to “date defensively, navigate safely and steer clear of unhealthy relationships.”

www.DatersEd.com

This article describes the dangers of computer addiction and the implications for the natural social development of a young adult.

Researchers in China compared the brain scans of 18 teenagers diagnosed with Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD) with those of 18 non-addicted teenagers. Differences in white matter density were found in over 20 brain regions. The researchers conclude that their findings show IAD is "characterized by impairment of white matter fibers connecting brain regions involved in emotional generation and processing, executive attention, decision making and cognitive control". 

Teen Dating Advice and Parenting Teens 

I don’t know about you, but the thought of my teen losing any more “white matter” connectivity is, well, frightening. As one who is Parenting teens, I have many years’ worth of anecdotal evidence that their ability to make decisions, maintain cognitive control and executive attention is already fiber-thin. Trust this teen dating advice: with regards to brain development, they are not firing on all cylinders at 18 and the last thing they need is one more activity to impair “emotional generation and processing.” 

By the age of 16, a dating teenager has a pretty good jumpstart on what it takes to build relationships. He or she has most likely experienced some positive validation, boosted ego and even the thrill of reciprocal flirting. On the flipside, he or she has probably hit the roadblocks of peer pressure, gossip, hurt feelings and maybe even a bit of rejection. This is a tough age for relationship confidence and good teen dating advice is essential. How the “object of their affection” responds to your dating teenager can either build up or tear down their sense of self. When a teen feels like they are number one in someone’s life, they tend to stick to that person like Bondo on a quarter panel. Gazing into each other’s eyes, they profess their undying “like” for one another. The couple will look forward to hanging out by the lockers, sitting together at lunch and meeting up at the football game. 

On the other hand, if they are ignored or not feeling valued, it can deflate their self-worth faster than a nail in the tire and subconsciously discourage them from pursuing other relationships, even just as friends.

 

Teen Dating Advice: Your Teens’ Relationship with Their Computer 

 

When I see a teen that is addicted to the computer, my teen dating advice is that at some point that guy or girl is in some way escaping the matrix of relationships by tuning out the world. They have become self-absorbed and the driving force of life is often “WIIFM,” “What’s in it for ME?” As those who are parenting teens, it is fundamental that we realize the computer for many teens is like a motorcycle with only one seat. It is meant for one, only one person and we should be providing the teen dating advice that makes them acutely aware of this anti-social behavior. Imagine how your daughter would feel if her boyfriend showed up on a Harley Sportster Forty-Eight with no room for her to ride behind him? Or if your son went to his sweetie’s house to sit alone on the couch while she spent endless hours on Facebook? 

Teen dating advice from those parenting teens should include a gauge for the “white matter connectivity” in all relationships. If a teen nominates their computer for Person of the Year, consider putting an odometer on the screen. Trust this teen dating advice: they are logging hours that will not encourage healthy relationships…unless of course they would prefer to date a PC. But they will find that relationship to be incredibly one-sided. 

Parenting Teens: Tips for Combating IAD: 

• Teen Dating Advice # 1: Limit the miles – Regulate the use of the computer by establishing the hours within which your teen can go online for both social and academic purposes. 

• Teen Dating Advice # 2: Park in a safe place – Place the computer in an area of the house that can actively be monitored. Setting your teen up with their own computer in their room can be dangerous and difficult to control! 

• Teen Dating Advice # 3: Pull over and get some exercise! – Those parenting teens should encourage them to get involved in other activities, such as sports, hobbies and social engagements. 

• Teen Dating Advice # 4: Operating under the influence – Computer addiction is a way of escaping the realities of a painful world. You may want to try and establish a dialogue with your teen about what they’re going through, whether it’s bullying at school or a tough break-up.