Teenage Dating Relationships: A Brief Recap
Our first explorations of love are as exciting and potentially dangerous as learning to drive. Without the correct teen dating advice, there are plenty of accidents waiting to happen. Without a thorough understanding of the rules of the road, how can you expect your teen to drive defensively; obey the various cautionary signs and steer clear of more than just the fender-benders? The very same applies to teenage dating relationships. Without a proper understanding of the dangers involved, teens are likely to walk straight into situations that could cause considerable psychological distress; and even physical harm! In my previous article post on teenage dating relationships, I started presenting some essential tips that both parents and teens can use as a roadmap. In this article, the final of a two-part series, we shall discuss some other very important teen dating advice; advice that will enable you to navigate the highways of love defensively and safely.
Teen Dating Advice # 4: Set Your Boundaries and Stick to Them!
Are your boundary lines in permanent paint or sidewalk chalk? It can be very easy to allow a date to violate your personal values if you don’t have a clear understanding of them. Take some time for introspection and decide what it is that is important to you when it comes to teenage dating relationships. Set your own boundaries and expectations in terms of how you wish to be treated and respected. Then, communicate these to your date. Your boundaries could be anything from not wanting to drink alcohol, or do anything more than hold hands to wanting to avoid spicy foods! By the same token, you need to respect your date’s boundaries and limits. Remember, teenage dating relationships only work when both parties are honest with each other. If one line is solid and the other is dotted, it is very possible that dotted line will be crossed. “I told Austin I didn’t like the way he was hugging me. He wants me to be more affectionate.” If he or she is drifting dangerously into your lane, then take the next exit. Another teenage dating relationships disaster avoided!
Teen Dating Advice # 5: Don’t Hang Out, Go Out
Many people in teenage dating relationships get used to just hanging out as opposed to getting out and doing things. “Yeah, Kelsey and I are just going to sit in the car in the garage. Pretty chill date – looking forward to it!” Instead of just spending time at home, make it a priority to go to get frozen yogurt, walk the mall or take a bike ride. The more time you spend out and about, the more conversations you can have with your date, allowing you to learn more about them in a safe and social situation. When you learn to drive, you will practice in a variety of ways: freeway driving, side streets and even through the school zone. Getting out of “park" is not only very healthy for teenage dating relationships; it’s also safer for you to be on neutral territory if you’re still getting to know your date. Remember this essential teen dating advice: most dating disasters happen in dark and private places.
Teen Dating Advice # 6: Recognize the Signs of Teenage Dating Relationships Violence and Abuse
Recognizing the warning signs of teenage dating relationships violence and abuse; they are not always large neon signs posted by the side of the road. How would you react if your date dragged their keys along the side of your car? Unfortunately, violence and abuse is very common with teens and often happens when you least expect it. Recognize the following signs in your teenage dating relationships and make a quick U-turn the minute they appear:
• Angry outbursts
• Isolation from your family and friends
• The constant blaming of others for problems instead of taking responsibility
• Threatening (physical and emotional)
• Extreme jealousy for no reason
• Cruel behavior towards children and/or animals
• Controlling behavior by putting your ideas and values down If you wouldn’t allow your date to treat your car with violence or abuse, then let that be the red flag you need to slam on the brakes, pull over and get them out of your car! You are much more valuable than your vehicle.
A Final Note on Teenage Dating Relationships
By understanding and adhering to this teen dating advice, terrible dating disasters can be avoided. While it can be very difficult to walk away from teenage dating relationships, it helps to have some perspective and see the long-term benefits of respecting yourself enough to demand only the best treatment. Mae West said, “Don’t cry over the one who left you, the next one might fall for your smile.” Always stay safe, buckle up, drive safely and enjoy the rewards in long and healthy teenage dating relationships!