"This article discusses the safety concerns in dating and using restraint to keep teens safe."

Parenting teens in the 1970’s was a whole different concept. For instance, my parents never told me to wear a seatbelt; I’m not even sure if we had them in our station wagon! Seatbelts and bike helmets were a joke when I was in high school and certainly not cool to wear.Parenting teens through the risk-taking years was probably far more challenging than my parents realized at the time.

The invention of the seatbelt got me thinking about restraints in general and how parenting teens is impacted by the ability to keep teens safe. Teen dating advice may not come in the form of a 3-point harness and a buckle, but there is some wisdom that can be applied to help keep teens from tragic mistakes.

A seatbelt is used to limit mobility and hold a person in place. Forcing a 30-year-old to “buckle up” when he has never worn a seatbelt before is much more difficult than implementing the use of seatbelts from a very early age. Today, even some of the most defiant teens will get in the car and put on their seatbelt without even thinking about it. This exercise began as an infant and now has become a subconscious discipline every time they get in the car. Doesn’t it make sense then to practice healthy teen dating advice and limits well before there is a struggle? Cribs have bars, yards have fences and seatbelts keep our children from climbing over the front seat while we are driving down the freeway. These are clearly safe practices. Parenting teens by using intangible restraints is much harder to enforce but equally as vital.

Parental controls on the computer, charging your son’s cell phone in your bedroom instead of his and limiting the amount of time they can talk on the phone may invite pushback at first but the earlier you implement and enforce the rules, the sooner it will become a habit. Go through the mental checklist you currently use when parenting teens and see what restraints you have imposed – especially when it comes to teen dating advice. “Jenna, I would really appreciate if Jake could bring you home by 10 but I understand if you don’t feel like it. Oh, and by the way, you don’t have to wear your seatbelt in his car either if it is too restrictive.”

Parenting teens holds a great deal of responsibility not only to your own child but the other person your teen will date one day. If your teen is not accustomed to limits, they will likely rebel against any rules and gravitate to others that support their self-indulgence.

Seatbelts are meant to keep people safe, not wrinkle their clothes. Seatbelt laws are enforced by authorities. Teen dating advice is meant to help kids keep from fatal disasters, not dictate what they can wear on a date. Teen dating limits should be enforced by parents. Evaluate the boundaries you have in place and determine whether or not there needs to be an adjustment. Understanding the difference between a good restraint and a frivolous request will make life much simpler for those parenting teens.

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Remember – safe teen dating does not happen by accident!

Lisa Jander – The Teen Whisperer

In the book Dater’s Ed, Lisa Jander, the Teen-Whisperer, helps parents teach their teenagers to learn how to “date defensively, navigate safely and steer clear of unhealthy relationships.” www.DatersEd.com