Mr. Who? Mr. Hu!

Kyle Taylor – gaytravel.com Blogger

Here is a little info for the gay and lesbian traveler; Mr. Hu is famous in these parts. His name appears in my Let’s Go travel guide as the “first stop for every English-speaking traveler,” and he was on MY mini-bus. I showed him where he was in my book and he shrugged me off, as if to say, “Yes, I’m kind-of a big deal.” From this point on, I would hang with Mr. Hu and let him lead the way. He had come to the train station to meet a group of six French tourists who had phoned ahead (why didn’t I call Mr. Hu before I left?) and asked for his assistance. Thankfully, they didn’t mind if I tagged along.

He took us to the “Free and Unfettered Hotel,” which was neither free nor unfettered. In fact, it was both expensive and quite fettered for the price, if I do say so myself. My plan was to quickly drop my bag then regroup with the French people for a bite to eat at Mr. Hu’s restaurant (yes, he has a restaurant named after himself, and he serves French toast, eggs, and French fries for a mere $1.50) followed by a tour of the ancient Yixian villages.

Unfortunately, I did what I always do and got sidetracked by this strange-looking device between the beds. It looked like a Star Trek command center, with ten little switches that controlled everything in the room. “Bed Light One, Bed Light Two, Hall Light, Bathroom Light, Room Light, Reading Area Light, TV, Vanity Light, Radio,” and, finally, “No Bother.” Yes, the last switch said “No Bother.” You can imagine how intrigued I was! What could “No Bother” possibly do in China? I sat down, braced myself, and flipped the switch…in an instant, the TV and radio both turned on, and all the lights began to flash on and off! It was my own private epileptic seizure-making dance party! Apparently “No Bother” means one-man dance party with Chinese Opera music blaring and TV static in the corner. It was certainly news to this gay traveler.