He took us to the “Free and Unfettered Hotel,” which was neither free nor unfettered. In fact, it was both expensive and quite fettered for the price, if I do say so myself. My plan was to quickly drop my bag then regroup with the French people for a bite to eat at Mr. Hu’s restaurant (yes, he has a restaurant named after himself, and he serves French toast, eggs, and French fries for a mere $1.50) followed by a tour of the ancient Yixian villages.
Unfortunately, I did what I always do and got sidetracked by this strange-looking device between the beds. It looked like a Star Trek command center, with ten little switches that controlled everything in the room. “Bed Light One, Bed Light Two, Hall Light, Bathroom Light, Room Light, Reading Area Light, TV, Vanity Light, Radio,” and, finally, “No Bother.” Yes, the last switch said “No Bother.” You can imagine how intrigued I was! What could “No Bother” possibly do in China? I sat down, braced myself, and flipped the switch…in an instant, the TV and radio both turned on, and all the lights began to flash on and off! It was my own private epileptic seizure-making dance party! Apparently “No Bother” means one-man dance party with Chinese Opera music blaring and TV static in the corner. It was certainly news to this gay traveler.